ser⋅en⋅dip⋅i⋅ty
noun – an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident
Getting over…
Our story started 2 years ago at Mosaic Esplanade (local annual music fest), on the 11 March 2007- where we first met. It was almost a year after my 1st breakup, and I bought tickets to watch an acoustic performance by Jose Gonzalez. I will always remember the date, as it was the birthday of my ex, and I wanted to distract myself from smsing or thinking about him.
I convinced an unwilling friend to join me for it, and while we were waiting to enter into the hall, another friend of mine, K, contacted me and asked me to meet up at Earshot Café. So I went down for awhile, and it was then that I met Eugene. He was sitting directly across the table, and was an army buddy of K. After introducing myself, I chatted with K, and did not really talk to Eugene as he sat there, quietly observing me.
After 15 minutes, I left to rejoin my friend, and never thought much about it.
2 weeks later, Eugene contacted me via myspace, and asks me out. Honestly, I wouldn’t even remember or reply him had he not reminded me that we met before at Esplanade. So I arranged for a meeting together with my friend, D who had just came back from the UK, as Eugene had also came back from England after his degree. Lo and behold, Eugene had actually met my friend D and D’s girlfriend in a shop at London, and D’s girlfriend again at a club a few months before he got to know me.
My friend hit off really well with him for their common interest in sneakers and fashion, and soon I was ignored.
The first time we went out alone, I roped him in to help me with a video project as he said he had a video cam. So he picked me up at 5am in the morning to catch the sunrise at the beach… it was only later that I found out that he specially borrowed the video cam from a friend, in order to get close to me.
But Eugene stayed in contact, and as I went out with Eugene for 9 months, I found out even more coincidences-
1. Before I moved to my current place, we actually lived on blocks opposite each other, on the same level, in the same unit at Bedok South. So if I was taller then and we both looked out the balcony at the same time, we would have looked straight at each other (like a typical boy-meets-girl movie, haha). He’s still staying there, which means we could’ve already passed each other when we were kids.
2. When we first met on 11 March, it was actually a day after his ex-girlfriend’s birthday, and he, too, was feeling exactly the same as me.
3. He was in the same secondary school as my sister, and his picture is in my sister’s yearbook that was lying around my house all this while.
4. We both have an interest in sneakers, fashion, graphics and music- that’s how we got drawn in to the same social circle.
The ups and downs…
Apart from the coincidences, the 9 months of courtship was filled with uncertainty, as I did not know whether I was ready for such a commitment. I was not eager to get attached as I wanted to have my options opened, and I would put him off by saying that it’s impossible between us. Given my commitment to church as a CGL, while he was not, I felt that it would be better if he found someone else to be interested in and that we remained as friends.
But as Dr AR Bernard said, persistence is omnipotent.
Not only did Eugene not give up on me, but he proved that he was serious. He had every reason to be put off, as I definitely did not give him an easy time emotionally with my discouraging words and pushing him away (which was what struck me as no one else had ever stuck through my ‘treatment’ for that long… Most guys I know would have already thrown in the towel at this point). There were times we argued out of frustration over this, but me being the fierce one , he would allow me space to think through, and decide for myself what I want. As far as he was concerned, he was sure of his feelings towards me, and he was here to stay.
I was slowly but surely won over by his gentleness, sincerity, his humour and generosity, his acts of services in love not just for me, but for his friends- to always give to others at the expense of self. I realised that beyond just following my head, I had to listen to my heart as well. And as with every relationship, there’s always a risk- and for Eugene, it was a risk I was willing to take.
On 25 Dec 2008, we got attached on Christmas Day.
Even though we’ve just entered the 1st year of our relationship (and 2 years since we’ve known each other), it has been such a blessing sharing my life with him, and thankfully there has been much more ups than downs. I thank God everyday that He has given me a loving boyfriend that has not ceased in his affection towards me, and I’m falling in love more and more with him everyday. I learnt that perhaps in our lives, even through the heartbreaks and disappointments that we experience, it helps moulds our perspective towards what we are looking for in a relationship. I realise that everyone else I had liked/loved were just prototypes, paving the way for the real deal, which for me was Eugene. I never regret taking the step of faith into the unknown with Eugene, and I would like to encourage single brothers (and sisters) out there- if we can take the step of faith in our finances, in missions, and in reaching out to others… why not in love as well? For brothers, you’ll never know unless you try… so persist if you are serious about her!
And for those out there who are nursing a broken heart, even if things do not work out as intended – see it as a prototype, and keep your eyes opened for the signs… trust in God that He definitely has the best person in store for you. 🙂
