Open Letter to All Parents with Kids Older than 9
Please sit down as you read this. I’m trying to be diplomatic and fair as I write this.
Hey, but you didn’t tell me this bit: that I would morph into a Monster Mum when the kids enter primary school. No one mentioned that it’s not possible to go through primary school without ever losing your temper. No one mentioned before!!
You may be thinking I’m quite a Kiasu parent, or a Tiger Mum. I’m not. Really. I want my kids to have a childhood, to hang out at the mall with mummy, to watch the latest kids cartoon at the movies, to go cycling by the beach, to just have a fun weekend.
I do not wish to hound them to finish their assessment books, or to learn their spelling. I’m really not for nagging again and again about what happens when they don’t study. BUT I think it’s ok to expect the kids to at least TRY for their spelling or attempt their best for the tests. I honestly don’t think it’s acceptable to FORGET there’s a test tomorrow, or said you studied and revised for spelling but got 0/10 when tested. Why didn’t you tell me this would happen?
NO ONE told me that kids do this quite naturally. And Mum, you forgot to remind me that I did all the above!!
But of course I am surviving. (just as you did!) I found that hidden guidebook that tells us creative answers to give when hit with a tough situation. Remember how creative parents can get?
What happens if you fail your year-end exams?
- Stay back until you eventually pass those exams
- Kick you out of the school and you end up clearing the trash for life
- The Principal will call both Daddy and Mummy up for us to explain what happened
What happens if you finish school pre-maturely?
- You end up as a road sweeper
- You work in Macs for the rest of your life at $2 per hour
- You can’t read and do math and eventually get cheated off your home and finances
And the guidebook taught me how to make wonderful bombastic sweeping statements:
- You can’t find a job if you don’t pass your exams. The foreign workers are cheaper to employ
- Mummy can shout louder than the current volume I’m at and let the entire neighbourhood know what’s happening with your school work
- Your younger siblings and all the younger neighbours & friends will eventually do their PSLE while you are still stuck at Primary 1/2/3/4/5
And I also realised I’ve quite a good control of using my diaphragm to shout. I think my shouts are loud and good, with clarity and good diction too. And I can do it for long periods without needing water! Ohh and I learnt that kitchen cabinets and study room drawers make wonderful loud slam sounds!
I’m not sure why this turmoil about homework and school stress was never communicated to me. I knew about the kids being stressed. Just never knew the extent of the parents’ stress. So in this open letter, I wanna tell all the new parents or potential parents that it is true life is never the same again once the kid arrives. If you think it’s just about sleepless nights over diapers and hungry babies, please re-read this letter. Either space out the age gap between your kids or stand strong and face the battle and get it over and done within a minimum consecutive 7 years.
Don’t say no one ever told you!
Lots of love from
The Mummy Who Is Learning New Stuff No One Ever Told her About
