This Mother’s Day we invited three mothers in City Harvest Church to pen a letter to their daughters. We pray that as you read these letters you will be inspired to write your own letter to your mother or your daughter. Happy Mother’s Day!
FROM CYNTHIA CHUA TO MIREILLE
Holding on to God’s promise that they would have a child called “Miracle”, Cynthia and her husband Kelvin received their promise in a miraculous way in 2020. Here is her letter to her baby Mireille.
Holding on to God’s promise that they would have a child called “Miracle”, Cynthia and her husband Kelvin received their promise in a miraculous way in 2020. Here is her letter to her baby Mireille.
My dearest “小 baby” (as papa and I affectionately call you):
Tears filled my eyes when I was asked to write a letter to you, my miracle.
Recently, I was making plans with your Aunt Zoey and Uncle Ced to surprise our mother (your Grandma) with a beautiful bouquet on Mother’s Day. Every year, being the oldest child, I would initiate Mother’s Day celebrations for Grandma. While planning for this year’s meal, oddly enough, it didn’t occur to me that this would be my very first Mother’s Day!
Every Mother’s Day, I would wonder when it would be my turn to celebrate being a mother. Papa and I had waited so many years for our miracle baby that often, we had to prepare ourselves for the possibility that we might never become parents in this lifetime. So even after being a mother to you for nine months now, I sometimes forget that I am now a mother – your mother.
小 baby, ever since Papa and I got married in 2010, Papa had always wanted to have four kids. However, we were in an extremely trying season for our church, and as full-time church staff, we were all doing our very best to keep the church going. As such, Papa and I decided to wait a few years before we tried for a baby. Surely, when we were ready, our baby would come—or so we thought. We didn’t know that we would have fertility issues that would make it difficult for us to conceive a baby naturally.
Just as we were beginning to understand our issues with fertility, we felt like Papa God dropped a name of a baby girl into our hearts. If God had spoken aloud, it might have sounded like, “You will have a baby girl, and you shall name her ‘Miracle.'” While we didn’t hear the audible voice of God, we both felt so strongly that God had a “miracle” in mind for us. And so, contrary to hope, in hope we believed.
Papa began writing this baby girl’s name on the flap of the offering envelope at church, every single time, praying and believing that our miracle would happen. He did that for almost five years. All these years, we’ve only had a baby girl’s name in our hearts.
During those five years, Papa and Mama tried their very best to have a baby, doing everything humanly possible. Eventually, we decided to try IVF (in-vitro fertilisation), a medical intervention – I will explain this to you when you are old enough to understand – which can help infertile couples get pregnant. Mama has always been very afraid of pain, but because Papa had so much love to give and pour into a baby, Mama decided to brave one round of IVF. One round became two, which led to a third, then a fourth. Your scaredy-cat Mama had no idea what she was capable of enduring: she took more than 200 injections and went through seven procedures, all in the hope of finally embracing our “Miracle”.
Well, God’s thoughts are higher than Papa’s and Mama’s thoughts, and God’s ways are infinitely higher! Papa and Mama had always thought that the only way of becoming parents is through “birthing” a child. But God has since expanded our hearts and lifted our mindsets to see that “God’s grace provides for the barren ones a joyful home with children so that even childless couples find a family. He makes them happy parents surrounded by their pride and joy …” (Psalm 113:9, TPT).
When Papa and Mama began our fourth IVF journey, it became so clear to us that God was leading us into adoption. We decided that if our fourth IVF resulted in us having our baby, then sometime after our first baby, we would plan to adopt a baby. If our fourth IVF failed, we knew that we had to begin our journey of adoption immediately.
Our fourth IVF failed in September 2019, but our most life-transforming journey had just begun. We began a journey of #AdoptingGodsHeart. We had to go through months of gruelling interviews before we were deemed suitable to adopt a precious baby. When we were finally given the official go-ahead to search for a baby to adopt, we told God that since He had clearly led us into this journey, surely, He must have a specific baby in mind for us. We really didn’t want to choose a baby among 10—we wanted God to do the choosing for us. So we trusted that God would orchestrate everything, make it obvious, and bring us the very baby He had handpicked for us.
Just a week after mama’s birthday in July 2020, we received a call that changed our lives forever. A baby was soon to be born in September, and it was a girl. They asked if we would be keen. Keen?! Were they kidding?! We were bawling our eyes out as we squealed with delight in our hearts, “Yes! Yes! Yes! A thousand times YES!” We cried some more after that phone call, giving God thanks for His perfect plan. We could see God’s fingerprints all over our journey, which had led to this very moment.
Oh Mireille, you were so eager to meet us! You came out a month and a day earlier than expected! All the baby items we had ordered from Taobao were still stuck in China, and we hadn’t even gone for the first lesson of our parenting course! You totally shocked us, gave us no room to prepare for anything, and basically threw us into the reality of parenthood. I can only say it is a miracle how we got through those initial days, just us and you against the world! Parenthood is the hardest and most fulfilling calling in life, and we are so grateful that it’s you we are parenting.
Mireille …
Our years of waiting …
Our four failed IVFs which spanned two years …
The precise time we began our journey of adoption …
The precise time you were conceived in your tummy mummy’s womb …
The precise time you were born …
Everything was just perfectly timed.
You bring smiles and laughter to Papa, Mama, Grandpas, Grandmas, your cousins, your uncles and aunts. You probably won’t remember the thousands of hugs and kisses we’ve all lavished on you, but not to worry—you will have a lifetime’s supply of them.
Oh Mireille, I sincerely do forget that I did not give birth to you. It feels like God made you for us. Right from the second day of your life, we met you face to face. On your third day on Earth, we brought you home. When you had to be hospitalised for jaundice the next day, Mama cried so badly! It’s quite a wonder how a tiny thing—now you’re a chubby little bundle of joy—would so quickly occupy our hearts.
I may not have carried you in my physical womb, but you’ve been in the womb of my spirit for so many years. We’ve prayed for you before you were formed, and every other day since we’ve had and held you. I did not get to spend nine months with you growing inside my tummy, but I’ve been blessed to have these past nine months watching you grow. I saw your eyelashes growing out, from nothing to something. I saw your first two teeth bursting through your tender gums. I saw your first belly flip, and many of your “firsts”. And God-willing, for the rest of your life, Papa and Mama will walk with you through the rest of your “firsts”: Your first encounter with God. Your first love. Your first dance. Your first school. Your first … everything.
Every time Mama feeds you, I pray to God that He will keep shaping you from the inside-out. I pray that you will have a heart that is full of joy and laughter. I pray you will grow up knowing you are not a “substandard” child, but a child with destiny, with a voice that is needed by your generation. I pray that you will be so secure and sure about God’s hand upon your life, and be a living testimony of what redemption looks like. I pray you will truly understand the beauty of adoption, and in understanding that, may you see the powerful truth that we have all been adopted into God’s eternal family.
Mireille, if Mama could now choose between giving birth to a baby or having you through adoption, I would choose you, no question about it. We just want you. We are so grateful to God for you. And we are committed to you. You are so perfect for us.
Lastly, do you know what Papa and Mama’s wedding march-in song was? The lyrics go like this:
It’s always been a mystery to me,
How two hearts can come together,
And love can last forever.
Now that I have found you, I believe,
That a miracle has come,
When God sends the perfect one.
Now gone are all my questions about why,
And I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.
Oh I wonder what God was thinking,
when He created you.
I wonder if He knew everything I would need,
Because He made all my dreams come true.
When God made you,
He must have been thinking about me.
I promise that wherever you may go,
Wherever life may lead you,
With all my heart I’ll be there too.
And from this moment on, I want you to know,
I’ll let nothing come between us,
and I will love the ones you love.
Now gone are all my questions about why,
And I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.
Oh I wonder what God was thinking,
When He created you,
I wonder if He knew everything I would need,
Because He made all my dreams come true.
When God made you,
He must have been thinking about me.
(When God Made You by Newsong)
One night, while holding you in my arms, these lyrics escaped my mouth, and I realised that our wedding song was about you.
Mireille, when God made you, He must have been thinking about me.
Love you for all eternity,
Mama (your first best friend … sorry Papa!)
* * * * * * *
FROM REGINA KAM TO TYRA
When Regina was 17, she underwent an emergency surgery to remove one of her ovaries. Years later, God did a miracle—with just one ovary, she became pregnant with her firstborn. Here is her letter to Tyra.
Dearest Tyra,
This is a letter that I’m writing to you when you’re 28 months old. Time really flies when we are happy every day. You are now in your bed, tossing and turning around and refusing to sleep. Haha! Things we’ve had to do now that we have you, a lot of multi-tasking goes on in this household, and we are happy doing life together with you.
You are growing up so fast. Daddy and I wish time would stop and you would grow up a little slower so that we can have a little more time with you.
You just started going to school a few months ago and figuring your way around and exploring each time we go out. Every morning we would change your diaper, feed you and have some playtime at the playpen. Now, you’re saying words that would amaze us sometimes. You are picking things up so quickly and you are so friendly to everyone.
You are Mommy and Daddy’s pride and joy, and we want nothing but the best for you.
You came into this world on 5 January 2019, Saturday at 7.45am. Just one day after my birthday. Mommy had to go for a C-section because you were still upright. The surgery was swift, and we were out of the operating theatre in one hour.
Growing up, your grandparents were kind of strict with me, but they allowed me to be independent in my own ways.
I started to go to church when I was 11. I was very active in school activities, and I also started singing which I enjoyed very much. I tried my best to study hard and play hard in school. I hope you will do the same as well: enjoy your school days to the fullest. Make as many friends as you can and be kind to the poor. From the time I was a child, I would always give some money whenever I see someone in need.
There was a period of time I was worried that I would not be able to have children.
It was one day before my ‘O’ Levels examinations. I was attending church service and I felt a sharp pain in my abdominal area after the service. The pain was so excruciating, my brother—your uncle—and I had to take a cab home because it was far too painful for me to walk.
The pain persisted throughout the evening even after I took painkillers. I decided to see a doctor, and he sent me to the A&E unit at the hospital.
The A&E doctors couldn’t figure out where the pain came from because it was all over my abdominal area—they decided it was a case of appendicitis. They admitted me and scheduled a surgery, and I thought everything would go as planned.
During the surgery the doctors discovered that it wasn’t my appendix that was causing the pain. Instead, they found a huge cyst on one of my ovaries. The doctors got my parents’—your grandparents’—consent for an emergency surgery.
A few hours after the surgery, the anaesthesia wore off and I woke up with an excruciating pain again. This time, it felt different than before: I felt semi-paralysed on the hospital bed and couldn’t move my arms and legs. All I could think of was to sleep and regain my strength.
I was put on morphine to keep the pain under control. I slept through the next day like a baby … until the doctors took me off the morphine. The nurse made me get up and start walking—it was not the best feeling in the world. Each time the nurse came, I dreaded it so much because I knew it was time to get off the bed and walk. Each time as I slowly began walking, I would think I wasn’t going to make it. But as I tried again and again, the pain got a little more bearable and more manageable. Basically, I had to learn how to walk all over again, one inch at a time.
The doctor who operated for me came to introduce himself and to explain what took place during the operation. The team had discovered that my left ovary had grown into a 40cm cyst. I was in great pain due to fluid leaking from the cyst. He said that it was rare for a young person like me to have such a huge cyst inside my body.
The doctor then went on to say I would have to go through another operation. My mind went blank—wasn’t it a done deal? I had just come out of a huge operation! He explained that it was precautionary, a procedure to check that all my other organs were not affected by the cyst. What caused them concern was that the cyst they removed tested positive for cancer
I froze. Did he just say cancer? Am I a cancer patient? What do you mean cancer?
As you can imagine it was traumatic. I had so many questions. What did it mean now that one of my ovaries was gone? Could I still have children? Would I still be able to function normally? What was going to happen next? What would my life be from now on? What about my exams? What about my future plans? So many thoughts flood my mind. So many what ifs. So many things I wanted to accomplish after I complete my ‘O’ Levels examinations.
Your grandparents were very surprised by the news because there had never been any family history of cancer. We didn’t understand why this would happen. I had always been very active in sports and I was healthy in every way.
The doctor explained that I fell into the five percent of people in the world who get cancer not because of genetics. It just happened to be so, there was no explanation.
Mommy went through the second operation, a keyhold surgery, and the doctor gave me greenlight—my organs were all in good condition. He went on to suggest that I go for six months of chemotherapy just to make sure there were no more cancerous cells in my body.
After 10 days in hospital, I was discharged from the hospital and returned home to rest. There was a lot to adjust to; my movements were very slow, the wounds were still healing and I was still in pain every time I moved, so I was dependent on painkillers.
Mommy’s church friends and leaders came to visit me at home and encourage me. It wasn’t easy for me. It was like my life had come to a standstill. I had been such an active person and suddenly I had to stay home and rest. I slept a lot, watched a lot of TV and prayed a lot too. There was nothing much else I could do at home.
I started practising walking and I got better at it over time. After a while, I was confident enough to walk on my own, and slowly I could sit up right for a longer period of time.
The day came for my first chemotherapy treatment at the hospital. Your grandma was with me, the nurses were all very nice and the whole treatment went smoothly. I didn’t feel any other side effects after chemo. My blood test came back okay and the doctor was very pleased that my body reacted positively to the treatment.
I went for three more treatments and responded well to those, without side effects. The doctor was happy to see me progressing so well and told me I could stop chemotherapy as there was no sign of irregularity in the blood platelet count.
That was great news! Now I just needed to see the doctor every three months for a follow up to make sure everything was normal and life could go on.
I went on to take my ‘O’ Levels as a private candidate because I didn’t want to go back to school. I felt embarrassed that I hadn’t been well enough to take the exams with my fellow classmates. If I had gone back to school, I would have had to take my exams with my juniors. That was one decision I made out of sheer emotion and I wish I could turn back time.
Your grandparents were not happy with my decision, but they respected my choice in the end. I wouldn’t understand till years later that all they did, they did for my own good.
Despite my worries when I was 16, God has been so good to your father and me—I became pregnant with you even though I only had one ovary left, after the surgery. You are a miracle gift from the Lord to us.
Always remember that as you grow up, because there will be many times you will hear me say, just like my parents said to me, “This is for your own good.” I do hope you will see your Dad’s and my point of view and understand where we are coming from. We may not be able to explain everything to you, but we do know what is good for you.
Right now, you are beginning to have your own likes and dislikes. You know how to express those dislikes to us. We are doing our best as your parents and we hope you do see it. Even though I know you probably don’t understand why we cannot let you play all night, and skip this boring thing called “sleeping”!
We hope you will grow up to be someone that is full of character and integrity, a girl who loves God just like we do. There is so many things we want for you. Your Dad would love that you become a dancer and I would love for you to pick up a musical instrument. Whatever you choose, we will support you fully.
As for dating, I hope you make a lot of friends and go out on a few dates before deciding to be with one guy. The trick is to go on three dates with a guy: if you feel that there is no chemistry, then this guy is not for you. It is always good to be friends first and get to know him before you make any decision.
Your Dad and I started off as friends. For many years we never really spoke or had a meal together. One day, he asked me out for dinner since both our workplaces were near each other. That led to him sending me home, and we became good friends.
One day, he told me that he was interested in seeing more often and he asked me if I felt the same. I said yes, and the rest was history.
Your father is the sweetest man I have ever met, he loves me and supports me in all my decisions. He is also a great listener and he always surprises me with gifts and flowers. I do hope you find someone just like him, someone who will give you his all in the relationship.
As you grow up, you will discover how supportive we are of everything you do—even if we disagree and have arguments with you. Always remember that we love you very much and we want the best for you. We may get angry at times, but we will not let anger take over love in our relationships. Same for your grandparents: love them even if they are strict with you or even if they don’t understand you.
Choose to love the people closest to you to the fullest. Nothing beats family—we are always here for you every step of the way. You can fall back on us anytime. And, whether you succeed or not, we still love you no matter what.
I hope that knowing the story of how God gave you to us despite what I went through as a teenager will give you confidence in Him, and that you will grow up brave and fearless!
Your loving mother,
Regina
* * * * * * *
DAWN LEE TO DENISE AND DEBBIE
Dawn Lee’s mother left home when Dawn was just 11. This had an impact on Dawn, but God had a bigger plan for her life. Today, as a mother of two, she has reconnected with her mother and they are building their own bond, just as Dawn has built with her daughters. Here’s her letter to her two girls.
Dear Denise and Debbie,
When I considered writing this letter, I had a lot of things on my mind. I had many ideas about how I should present this, but I ended up not knowing what to say—is this a brain jam? Maybe it’s the perfectionist in me that wanted to leave both of you a perfect letter from your Mom. But after resting my mind for a few days, I realised that there is only one thing I want both of you to know, and it is that I love you very much.
Being your mother is one of the best decisions that I have made in my life. My mother, your Grandma, left me when I was 11 years old. I grew up in a family where my Dad, which was your Grandpa, was on overseas assignments most of the time.
As far as I could remember, when my Dad came home from overseas, he would bring us presents. Unfortunately, I also remember when he was home, many quarrels would take place at home between him and my mother. There were times where Grandma would leave home for days and she would only come back when Grandpa asked her to.
This cycle went on for years, until finally, one day, Grandpa gave up on the marriage and decided not to ask Grandma to come home. Overnight, my paternal grandmother, your Great-grandmother, shifted in with us and took over the responsibilities of looking after Auntie Mel and me.
So you can say that I grew up without a mother figure. At the age of 11, I had to learn to be independent. Grandpa continued to travel for work. Unlike today, where kids are more tech-savvy and avenues of communication are readily available, your Auntie Mel and me never in touch with our mother after she left.
Even though Great-grandmother was supposed to take care of us, in many ways, we had to grow up and take care of her and the household. Life went on for another four years like this, until Auntie Mel decided to move out at the age of 16. This was the second time I lost a female figure in my life. Grandpa was heartbroken but there was nothing he could do to keep Auntie Mel.
These two incidents made a huge impact in my life, even though I was not aware of it at the time. I began to think that woman are not dependable, that they cannot be trusted. That they will leave and abandon you. I had to learn to fend for myself. Now that I looked back, I realized that I struggled very much with low self-esteem. Even though I was doing well academically in school and I had many friends, I often felt that I was not good enough, pretty enough, or smart enough. Thoughts that maybe people were just being nice to me, or that I didn’t belong to any group would often creep into my mind.
I started to do sports and I strived to excel at them. I played basketball and was selected for combined school team and the national team. I joined the track and field team and came in fourth at the national level. I played netball, volleyball—I even joined the English Language Drama Society and tried to act.
But all these did not fill the void in my heart. I didn’t have relationships because my self-esteem was so low that I did not think that any boy would be interested in me. Even if boys expressed interest in me, I was probably was not confident enough to pick up the signal. So now you know why your Dad was my first boyfriend when I was 22.
My life took a turn for the better when I came to church at 16. I found myself in an environment where people accepted me and loved me for who I was. I learnt to love God, to love myself and to love others. Of course, the hardest thing for me was to learn to love my mother and sister who left me. I thank God that many people came around me to help me in this journey of inner healing. I went through many prayer and counseling sessions. It was like peeling onions, removing layers and layers of past hurts and disappointments. Over the years, I had allowed the past to plant that fear of abandonment in me and I did not know how to deal with it—until I met God.
By the grace of God, my mother and I finally reconciled after many years. What both of you see today was the healing that God had done for me in my life.
Our relationship was not always like this. During the period that Grandma left home, I hardly have any memories of her during that period. Due to the lack of technology, we could not keep in touch regularly. They say “mothers and daughters are closest when daughters become mothers”. Being a mum helped me to see things in her perspective and better understand the hard decisions she had to make for herself. And I am grateful that God showed me that He forgave a sinner like me and that I can, in turn, forgive a mother who had left me because she did not know better. We have since reconciled and are enjoying a second chance at building a mother-daughter bond.
As American author Anita Diamant says, “The more a daughter knows the details of her mother’s life, the stronger the daughter.”
And God definitely had a way of orchestrating our lives, because just like He gave my mother two daughters, He also gave me two beautiful daughters!
Two years after your Dad and I got married, we felt that it was time to bring our marriage to the next level, which was to start a family. Perhaps I was young, at 28, I conceived quickly. It was very exciting to be a first time mum. We were initially happy to stop at one child. However, three years later, we felt that life isn’t complete without siblings. That’s when Debbie, you came along.
Life can never prepare a woman to be a mother. The role and responsibilities drop on you the moment the little one decides to pop into this world. There is no one-size-fits-all solution to raising your children. Every child is unique and not even having a PhD can help you to raise one. But one thing’s for sure: a mother’s love is instinctive and powerful.
When both of you were infants, my life totally revolved around you. Your first turn, first tooth, first solids, first words, first steps…I wanted to be there to witness all these. At some point, even though we hired a domestic helper, I was a very hands-on mother. My hair was constantly out of shape because I had no time for regular haircuts. I traded office wear for comfy oversized clothes because I was totally out of shape after delivery. Exercise was the last thing on my mind because as a mother, I did not make time for myself. My world was you.
I stopped wearing make-up because I carried each of you in a sling against my chest and I wanted to avoid smudging the make-up on you. My days started early with your food preparation and packing your baby bags. I gave up wearing heels because it was just impossible to walk in them when I had my work bag on one shoulder, a baby bag on the other and a baby hanging in front of me. Both times, each of you became the only accessory that I needed in my life. And I was most proud to “hang” you all over me.
Both your Dad and I came from a family of four: parents and two kids. There are so many reasons why we think siblings are important. But the great one is that siblings are the gift only your parents—and no-one else in this world—can give to you. Someone once said, “Sisters are the best friend you never had”. My hope is that both of you will grow in your love for each other. Blood is thicker than water. Learn to get along. Both of you may be so different, but you are also very similar in many ways.
Aunty Mel left home when she was 16. We resumed our relationship many years later. She was promoted to the status of “Auntie” when both of you were born. I saw her through her first marriage and divorce, and now she is happily married to Uncle Chiheb. I walked with her when she was battling leukemia—I was so disappointed that my bone marrow did not match hers. Fortunately, she did not need one.
One of my best overseas holidays was touring Italy with Auntie Mel. It was my first time in Europe—and I’ll be honest to say that the best thing was that she paid for the entire trip! She trusts me with all her finances. She would consult me before making major decisions in life. Now that she has relocated to Tunisia, both of you know that we still communicate with each other very often and hold each other dearly in our hearts.
Love yourself. You are the best gift that your parents could ever give to your sister.
Love your sister. She is the only gift that your parents and no one else can ever give to you.
I have enjoy watching both of you grow into your teenage years, and I will eventually enjoy watching you enter adulthood. Sometimes I wish that I can keep you small so that you will always stay by our side, but I also know that there are so many adventures we can share together when you are adults.
Even now, there are things I already miss.
I miss the times you would call me every day during recess time. I used to think that it was a waste of money and you should have saved the 10 cents.
I miss the times both of you would co-sleep with us on our bed. I used to say it’s to save electricity so that we only switch on one air conditioner at night. But secretly, I enjoyed having both of you snuggling between us.
Every growing phase is a passing phase and I have learnt to enjoy every moment before it is gone. Life is about creating memories. So we travel together, we eat together, laugh together, watch silly YouTube videos together. I want to be part of your world for as long as I can.
When I tell you, you cannot go overseas with your friends, what I really mean is, “If you want to see the world, let me go with you.”
When I say, do not find a boyfriend too soon, what I really mean is, “I want you to be my little girl as long as you can and I do not want another person to take my place in your heart.”
When I ask, will you stay with me after you are married? What I want to know is how far away you will be after marriage.
It is going to be difficult, but I know I will need to let you go someday.
So what do I want to leave with you? Life is about making choices and it is okay to make wrong choices or mistakes in life—just don’t make the same mistake twice. What is worse than making a wrong choice is not having a choice.
I hope that you do not come to a place where you have to make a choice because you have no choice. Pursue God, gain knowledge, live an honest life. The better you do in life, the more choices you will have in life. Education and money may not be the most important pursuits in life, but a higher education will lead you to more career choices. Choose a career that will eventually become your passion. Then you are not paid for working, but you will be paid for doing something you enjoy. Do not be afraid of hardship and huge tasks. As the saying goes: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. You will make choices about the house you live in, the car you drive, the job you choose and the guy you marry. Life is about choices.
So my advice to you is, choose wisely.
There are three most important decisions you need to make in life: one, your salvation. Two, the Church you choose to grow in. Three, the guy you marry.
Someone once said just because you are born in McDonalds, it does not make you a hamburger. Just because both of you are born into a Christian family, it does not make you a believer. I pray that both of you walk closely with God. There have been prophecies that were spoken into your lives and I know that the Lord is watching over both of you. I pray that Dad and I can leave a spiritual legacy for you and your descendants to come.
Lastly, marriage can either be a heaven on earth, or hell on earth. Make many friends. Draw boundaries. Take your time to choose wisely. Do not look for the right one; make the one that you choose right. Remember that marriage is hard work. If you are not willing to put in effort to make it work, then do not get married. Every person in a marriage must first love God, love himself or herself, and lastly, love their spouse.
It is important that you choose someone who shares the same values as you. If he loves God, he will love you. Love yourself; you will be disappointed if you are waiting for someone to love you. True beauty comes from being confident in who you are. You are not what you weigh so do not be overly pressured into conforming to what this world thinks a pretty woman should look like.
Are you willing to forgo the entire forest for a single tree? Take your time to look for that “tree”. For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health; take your time to choose that person whom you are willing to go through life with. I hope our marriage has been an example to you. I hope we have shown you that in the midst of any differences, you can still make your marriage work if you are willing to commit to your wedding vows.
When that day comes for you to get married, I will cry buckets. I will try to remind myself that you need to “leave and cleave”. It will be difficult, but I will try because that is what the Bible says. Sigh. But I will remind myself that as a mother, my children never really leave me because I forever hold them dearly in my heart.
In closing, I want to reiterate that I love both of you very much. When I tell you that you can have my cup of bubble tea in the fridge or the last piece of sweet and sour pork at dinner, I am not just giving you permission to drink or eat—giving you my bubble tea and letting you have the last piece of pork is my way of telling you that I love you more than my desires.
When you ask if you can buy something and most of the time, I say no, what I mean is, I love you, let me buy for you later. You know that I hate to say no to both of you.
As a mother, I have learnt that I am capable of loving others more than myself and I am willing to sacrifice for others, especially my children.
As a mother, I discovered that I am really a superhero in disguise because I possess super memory power and can handle many tasks all at one time.
Thank you for coming into my life. I cannot imagine life without the both of you! When they say babies are bundle of joy, I did not expect that it would mean so much joy! The Bible says children are gifts from heaven. I thank God that He gave both of you to me.
I look forward to the day both of you become mothers and have children of your own.
Love,
Mum
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Dawn’s letter first appeared in the book Letter To My Daughter, published by Marshall Cavendish. The book features 21 letters—some funny, many moving—from mothers to their daughters, touching on everything from lipstick and boyfriends to cancer and divorce. Letter To My Daughter is available at major bookstores and online at goguru.com.sg
