Overcoming Addiction: Porn Was His Master Until God Set Him Free

Before he was saved, pornography was an “okay thing” to David Guru. But when he had an encounter with God, his journey to purity began.

According to Wiley’s Clinical Health Hub, recent surveys conducted in developed countries like the USA and Australia have revealed that up to 76 percent of men and 41 percent of women regularly access pornography, particularly on the Internet. It has also been found that the number of visitors to pornographic sites is increasing yearly.

Christian apologist and teacher Josh McDowell is on a mission to expose and fight porn addiction in the church. His assistant Austin Fruits writes on McDowell’s website about Sex Free, a 2019 conference on the porn epidemic, “Christians are just as tempted as non-believers to view porn, which is why pastor Charles R Swindoll has called pornography the greatest cancer in the history of the Church. As Josh adds, ‘It’s available, accessible, affordable, anonymous, appealing, aggressive, and addictive.’ Porn is affecting the majority of families in every church around the globe. This epidemic is destroying families; it’s now the root cause of 56 percent of divorces.”

The problem is indeed an epidemic, and Singaporean Christians are not exempt from it. City Harvest Church member David Guru shares how an early exposure opened up the insidious world of pornography to him.

“My first experience with porn was around Primary Four or Five. I was at a friend’s house and he said, ‘Eh, you wanna see something?’ And he showed me a porn website. I remember it was vivid—I was traumatised. I was not meant to absorb it at that age,” recounts David Guru, (27), an E commerce consultant and connect group leader at City Harvest Church.

Pornography was “a fun thing” to many of his peers as he entered his teens. School-prescribed sex education was not taken seriously, and watching porn was seen as something the cool kids did to appear grown up.

It was only when David received salvation at the age of 21 that he gradually began to realise that pornography was not acceptable. “Before I got saved, porn was normal. The idea was that everybody was going it. TV shows normalised the watching of porn—it didn’t seem like an addiction,” he described. “In fact, it seemed so natural then, that those who didn’t know or talk about sex, about porn, were the weird ones.”

David had come to church in March 2015, a few months before he enlisted for National Service. He had followed his then-girlfriend to service every weekend, when three months in, he had an encounter with Jesus during service, and found himself weeping and shaking under the tangible presence of God. “I knew in that moment that this God is real,” he recalls.

But when he entered NS, the normality of sex and prevalence of porn continued. “Everybody there talked about it,” he says.

 

“I’M NOT IN CONTROL OF THIS”

David continue to pursue God. In June 2016, he went to an Emerge youth camp, and there, he had an encounter with God. “I began to ‘get’ God,” he says. “Between June and December that year, I really began to understand who God is.”

Along the way, as he began to spend more time with God, he came to the conclusion that pornography was wrong. “It was a hidden thing—it was something I had been doing for so long that it didn’t even occur to me it was wrong,” he admits. “But the moment I realised it, I wanted to stop. But I couldn’t! That was when I knew I was addicted.”

David was watching pornography almost every other day at that point. He could not stop. “I was not in control of this thing—it had control over me,” he described. “I was in a very bad place. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t stop.”

What made things worse was that “it was very hard for me to talk to anyone about it,” he says, adding that he did attempt to share his struggle with his church leaders. “It was uncomfortable for both them and myself; and we didn’t really understand how to navigate this beyond the usual textbook advice.”

David notes that pornography is normalised by the world, when it should not be; while “the struggle with porn should be normalised, not shamed. But there’s so much shame attached to coming clean about it.”

Desperate to get rid of addiction, David tried “every trick in the book”. “I discovered addiction happened on different levels, and mine was demonic,” he shares. “I was really seeking God for deliverance. When it’s demonic, you can feel it, the awareness begins in you. I knew I needed freedom, I needed deliverance.”

His leaders sent him to CHC’s Liberty Ministry, but pornography continued to have a stronghold. “It’s very tiring to be a slave,” says David. “Porn was my master. It was exhausting. What motivated me to pursue freedom was the fact that my misery and bondage was greater than my shame.”

 

“YOU ARE NOW FREE”

David refused to give up. He sought his freedom constantly. In 2017, during a mission trip to Bacolod, he had what he calls a “sovereign deliverance”. During worship at a youth meeting, he heard the Lord say to him in a clear voice, “David, you are now free”, and he felt the stronghold over him break.

In 2018, he enrolled in CHC’s School of Theology. During Pastor Mike Connell’s deliverance module, “I had a massive deliverance,” he says.

“It’s really the anointing that breaks the yoke,” David emphasises. “When you don’t have Jesus, it won’t work.”

Now that he was set free, David found he had to learn to manage his freedom. He explains that it is not a one-time experience, but an ongoing walk in liberty. “In that sense, you don’t overcome addiction, you are constantly overcoming it,” he says.

For David, the overcoming involved understanding why he turned to porn. At first it seemed like it was just a habit, but there was something deeper.  “I realised that porn was my coping mechanism,” he says. “It was something I turned to when I had a soul problem, when I was feeling the pain of rejection, or dishonor, or when I felt emotionally abused. What began as a habit to deal with this pain turned into an addiction, which became a stronghold.”

David shares that he still struggles with pornography. “I was a porn addict, but that’s not me anymore,” he declares. “For some people, porn leaves them completely, and that’s fantastic! Praise God! For me, I needed to learn how to cope and walk in freedom.”

The renewing of his mind is what has kept David going. “Because of Jesus’ imputed righteousness, I walk in freedom,” he explains. “I’m now righteous in Christ, and porn in not aligned to that. I am a new creation in Christ, and porn does not make me feel good. These things are no longer part of my nature.”

Wanting God more than anything else is what diminishes the attraction to porn. “I realised that you cannot have intimacy with God when sin is that much of your life,” David states. “You can’t yield yourself completely to God. The only way is to give this up.”

David did not have a well-hewn path to freedom, particularly since he was growing spiritually and taking on greater responsibility in church. “Everybody struggles with sin, but pornography has a particular stigma,” he states. “I’m a CGC, I’m sort of in a leadership position, I’m in charge of this and that—I was scared talking about porn would affect all that. I thought they would remove me from ministry.”

But he found that his zone pastor Edmund Tay was open with him and understanding of his walk through addiction. He says, “In 2020, Pastor Edmund held an online session, ‘Break Free’ to help people who were struggling with porn. Talking about it so openly was a step in the right direction.”

 

“Being free from porn addiction is when porn no longer has a hold on you,” David explains. “You may have good days and bad days, you may fall back, but that doesn’t mean you’re addicted—that’s a lie. You are now walking in freedom, and you have a choice, which is part of your free will. You can and should learn to not choose porn. When you are in bondage, you have no choice.”

“A lot of times people may think that if they fall into porn again, they are an addict again. And then the whole cycle restarts. Since you go back to identifying yourself as an addict, you do what addicts do: even more porn. Don’t let that happen. When you fall into dirt; get back up, repent, wipe yourself clean with the blood of Jesus and move forward. Don’t run away from God, run to God. You’re not an addict anymore. That’s no longer who you are. You are a child of God.”

It’s not behaviour modification that is the most important thing—that is a fruit of freedom. A person gets free and then that helps him walk in freedom.

“Stopping porn is the fruit of my freedom and righteousness in Christ,” David explains. “First you must get to the root, you need freedom from God, then you renew your mind to stay free. I am still faced with it sometimes but Jesus said, you will never be tempted beyond what you can bear.”

He openly shares that he had a relapse in 2019 because he went through a tough period. It was such an intense year. I was exhausted emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. “I went into the bathroom, and I looked in the mirror, and I said to the devil, ‘There will never come a day when I’m okay with porn. I will always get back up. You give up, because I will never give up.’

“You must keep fighting.”

 

HOW TO BE SET FREE FROM PORN ADDICTION

Journeying through this has taught David that recognizing and admitting to porn addiction is a very important first step for anyone struggling with it. “That needs to be normalised,” he points out. “Remove the stigma around it and talk to people. Guilt and shame actually strengthens sin. Get it out into the light. Seek deliverance and ministry if you need it. It’s the anointing that breaks the yoke.”

There are practical steps to take as well, says David, for anyone reading this who may need support. “I’ll share what I did. First, I stopped listening to secular songs. Most of the songs are about sex—as a man thinks, so is he,” he states.

“Second, I stopped going to clubs. Clubs are a highly sexualized atmosphere—I knew what my triggers were, so I stayed away. Find out what your triggers are; they’re different for everyone. You have to be aware. 1 Peter 5:8 says, ‘Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.’”

“Next, I stopped watching any sexual movies or TV shows, movies like American Pie, about a man trying to lose his virginity—those are triggers as well.”

David also serves in the TikTok ministry for emerge. “Being on TikTok, the algorithm is set for my profile. Their objective is to keep me scrolling through the app for as long as they can. TikTok can be a really dark place that emphasises sexuality—in fact, social media as a whole has really changed the landscape. Since I’m a 27-year-old male, they figured I’d like to look at girls, so all these scantily-clad women show up on my feed. Online porn works the same way too—they’re primed to keep you on an endless cycle, video after video.

“So I have to refilter my TikTok. As for my Instagram feed, I unfollowed models I used to follow. My social media is super Christian-fied,” he laughs. “I make my environment as trigger-free as possible.”

Knowing what one’s triggers to an addiction are is a major component of winning this war.

“For me, boredom was a trigger,” David admits. “As they say, an idle mind is the devil’s playground. So I go out and do things.”

Another big trigger for him is being hurt. What caused his relapse in 2019 was a lot of emotional wounds and trauma. “When I relapse, I think through what happened and what caused it. I realised it was my need for intimacy,” he says.

Porn was an easy but poor substitute for intimacy. “It’s like committing adultery against God,” he describes. “So I ask, how do I get my need for intimacy met? So that’s the big secret: I spend time with God. Every time I fall, I can almost always trace it back to not spending time with God.”

David understands that it’s not easy for someone struggling with porn addiction to step forward to get help. “Sometimes, hearing other people overcame their addiction in a week, a month, really doesn’t help,” he points out. “That’s not what these individuals are facing, so they think ‘it won’t work for me’.”

David avails himself to anyone wanting to break free from porn addiction, who needs someone to walk alongside them. He is already helping a number of people. “It’s important to journey together with them,” he says, adding that he encourages them if they fall, or pray with them when they need.

“I encourage them to remember who they are in Christ,” says David. “To remember that they are a king and a priest—if I am a king, do I want to watch porn? I help them to remember that who they are ultimately defines their actions—they are not defined by their actions.”

The journey may be long, but David urges them to keep fighting and find friends to fight with. “Come out of hiding and walk in the light. There is no condemnation in Christ,” he reminds. Most importantly, he says, keep walking with God and staying intimately close to Him.

Quoting Psalm 91:1, David encourages, “As long as you live in the shelter of the most high, you will find safety.”

If you are struggling and would like to connect with David, you can message him on Instagram @davidguru_

 

WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT PORNOGRAPHY

Pastor Audrey Ng, head of CHC’s Liberty Ministry, shares a Biblical understanding of pornography.

In my opinion, it is nearly impossible to watch pornography without being sexually aroused.

 

Pornography distorts sex, removes it from the context of marriage and uses images to feed the desires of the flesh, offering a false intimacy through self-pleasure rather than a true meaningful relationship intended by God. This instant gratification can lead to a lack of self- control and damage the sanctification of sex in a marriage.

Photo by Maksim Goncharenok from Pexels

Lust is a sin to be taken seriously as the act of adultery itself. Matthew 5:28 says, “but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” And Ephesians 5:3 teaches, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”

 

Watching porn may not seem similar as the actual act of sex but 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 tells us to flee away from sexual temptations. “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”

 

How do we fight pornography? Ephesians 6:10-11 teaches us to “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.”

 

What David Guru has done is a reminder of how we need to flee as far away as we can from temptations, down to choosing who to follow on Instagram and unfollowing images that may stimulate us to fall into the trap of porn. This stimulation is equivalent to the high that drugs and other substances bring to an addict, and it often leaves the addict with a craving for more.

 

However, 1 Corinthians 10:13 reminds us, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

 

Recovery is difficult to go through alone. There is a need to deal honestly with addiction and you need support and accountability. It’s essential to find a trusted space, somewhere you feel safe to seek and receive help. If you are struggling with porn addiction, contact Libertyministry@chc.org.sg. If you need counselling, approach your cell group leaders—we have a team of trained counsellors who will listen and speak with you, and walk with you through this journey to overcome addiction.