“We Found Love As We Served God”

In City Harvest Church, every member is a minister. Besides being a blessing and picking up a new skill, some church members also found their life partner while serving in a ministry. Three CHC couples share their stories.   

It was the first time Debbie Wong stepped into the control room in City Harvest Church’s Jurong West premises. She had just joined the TV ministry, now known as CityTV, and was there to observe how the team worked as the service took place.

When the service started, things began happening at a rapid pace. In the midst of all the action was a man sitting at the director board, calm as a clam. “He was very calm, and he was calling the shots,” Debbie recalls.

That was her first impression of Andrew Teoh, who eventually became her husband. After that day, Debbie took a break from ministry for a year. When she returned, she was assigned to serve with the CityTV team in Children’s Church. There, she met Andrew again.

Because they served together, they got to see each other often. Andrew being a technical person became Debbie’s “tech support” whenever she faced issues with her computer. “On those occasions, we got to talk and know each other better,” Andrew shares.

Rendering help was right up his ally. As he helped Debbie time after time, Andrew found himself opening up his heart to her. “I like to be depended upon and Debbie made me feel needed in the relationship,” he says. “There is a sense of mutual dependency in our relationship, yet we are not overly dependent on each other. We are able to pursue our own interests. It is that kind of balance that attracted her to me.”

As they got to know each other better, Debbie realised that Andrew ticked many of the boxes on her list of criteria for a partner. “Out of 10, he fulfilled nine,” she reveals. “The most important thing for me was that he doesn’t put women down and he respects the elderly. Those qualities are vital to me.” Today, Debbie is working with the cohort closest to her heart: she is an administrative manager with City Harvest Community Services Association, which has a large group of elderly beneficiaries.

Serving in a ministry is a major part of a City Harvest member’s life in the church. Besides being a place to employ one’s talents for the glory of God, ministry is also where friendships are forged. Some of these friendships blossom into something more.

DEBBIE & ANDREW: “OUR MINISTRY FRIENDS ARE OUR VILLAGE”

Debbie and Andrew are only one of many couples who got closer to each other when they served together. They tell us that being in the same ministry has many perks, one of which is the support of their friends. Andrew’s biggest fear about pursuing a girl was that he would not know what to say in a face-to-face setting. “Debbie and I would usually chat on MSN (an instant messaging platform popular in the late 2000s) but that is a different experience from meeting face to face,” he shares. “Our group of friends provided a safe haven for us, in case we didn’t know what to say to each other.”

After they started dating in 2006, and even after they got married in 2010, their ministry friends continue to play a big part in their relationship. This group of friends eventually became their colleagues when they joined the now-defunct video production company Xtron in 2008 and 2009 respectively.

“Working all together helped us build our relationship because we had a group of friends to turn to,” Andrew reflects. When their children were born, this group of friends became “the village” that helped to raise their children.

“Our friends understood that we couldn’t stay late at work as much as we used to, and they tried to accommodate us,” Andrew shared. Debbie added, “They understood where we were at in our lives and knww the kind of support we needed, without us needing to say much.”

Both Debbie and Andrew eventually left full-time ministry, although Andrew continues serving as a volunteer in CityTV. Debbie supports him fully in his passion to serve. “The vision of the ministry is to reach those outside the four walls of the church,” Andrew notes. “TV is a powerful medium, especially with the streaming platforms available today. It is visual and audio—it makes people excited to watch, and hopefully, they will catch something.”

Debbie says, “Even when we were dating, serving was a big part of him.” She thus took it upon herself to take a step back from serving when their first child was born so that Andrew would have the space to continue serving.

“Initially, I felt bad when I couldn’t serve as frequently. It took me a while to get used to it but I eventually understood that taking care of our children is an important ministry too. Our girls are still young, I think my role is to be around them, to let them know that they are loved and that we’re always available for them.”

“It’s not easy to strike a balance,” Andrew adds. “Naturally, parents want to spend more time with their children especially when they are young. It was a bit more difficult for us to carve out time to serve. But as they grow older, they become more independent. Thank God for Harvest Kidz—we can drop them off and go serve again.”

From serving weekly, Andrew scaled down to serving only three weekends in a month and now, he serves on alternate weekends.

WENDY & MING WEI: “I SEE HIM IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT WHEN WE SERVE TOGETHER”

Wendy Ong started serving in the choir at CHC’s School of Theology during her year there. After graduation, she auditioned for the choir in the main service, and started serving there.

Lim Ming Wei was a team leader in the choir. For the next two years, Wendy would see Ming Wei from afar but they two never got close enough for a friendship to develop.

“I wasn’t looking for a partner,” Wendy says. “After SOT graduation, I was single for five years and all I wanted to do was to serve God and give my all to my zone, my cell group and then to the choir.”

Ming Wei was just as focused on ministry as Wendy was. In fact, he had reservations about dating a girl from choir because the ministry was “so precious” to him. He did not want things to become awkward if the relationship were to not work out.

However, he was already in his early 30s then and his ministry leaders began encouraging him to find a suitable partner. Being the obedient member that he was, Ming Wei wrote down the qualities he wished for in a partner, and started praying over his list.

“One day, I saw Wendy—I did not know how or why, but somehow my eyes kept looking at her,” he recalls laughing. When he found out that she was sporty, he grew even more interested in her.

Once, Wendy told Ming Wei that she had a sore throat. It was a Saturday and Ming Wei was serving in the choir that weekend. After praise and worship, he went and got Wendy a tin of Euphon lozenges, the brand recommended by their ministry leader, Annabel Soh. He returned to the hall, and went all the way up to the top tier in search of Wendy. When he finally found her, he saw that she had her eyes closed and was deep in worship. He gently slipped the lozenges onto her seat with an anonymous note.

When service ended and Wendy saw the lozenges, she started asking her friends if anyone had given them to her. No one had seen anyone leaving it there. “Maybe it’s your secret admirer,” one of her cell group members teased. At that moment, she felt a prompting from the Holy Spirit. “Who did you tell about your sore throat,” He asked. The only person she had told was Ming Wei. That was the first time she felt a spark of warmth in her heart for him.

For Ming Wei, getting the lozenges was not him making a move—it was just a kind gesture. Yet, since that incident, he could not get Wendy out of his mind. “I started asking God why she keeps appearing in my mind. Maybe He wanted me to reach out to her,” he recalls.

He took the first move and started texting her and asking her out. When they grew closer, they realised that the other possessed every quality they were looking for in an ideal partner. Wendy sought the advice of her pastoral supervisor.

“She told me that I needed to pray about it,” Wendy remembers. “I felt the Holy Spirit telling me that I was ready and that it was time for me to get attached.” She also recalled how God had spoken to her about Ming Wei in the past.

“God always moves at the right time,” she says. “He doesn’t rush into things. But when He speaks, He makes the whole atmosphere right. He knows when you’re ready, when it is time. God makes things beautiful in its time.”

The couple wed in 2021 and husband and wife are happily serving God together now. “When I serve with Wendy, I count my blessings. God has blessed me with this beautiful girl. And I know that He is going to do greater things upon us in this ministry,” Ming Wei smiles.

Wendy, on the other hand, loves watching Ming Wei lead in the choir. “I see him in a different light—the way he serves engages the members and teaches them. He is really a man who serves God wholeheartedly,” she says with pride.

Watching the way Ming Wei listens to God before guiding his team taught Wendy many things about leadership. “The way he takes charge of situations, the way he leads with confidence—they are things I find very admirable. They are the reason why I fell in love with him,” she says.

As Ming Wei and Wendy mostly serve in the choir on different days on the weekend, they look forward to being scheduled to serve on the same day. “Whenever we are scheduled on the same day, we get really excited,” Wendy shares. “We get to prepare for church together, arrive in church together for sound check, and then serve on stage together. These are moments that I think we really cherish and treasure.”

THOMAS & YU CHEAN: “GOD SEES MY WILLINGNESS TO SERVE HIM AND MY DESIRE” 

Thomas Poi came to CHC in 2001 during Christmas service that year. A year later, he joined the Chorus Board Ministry, now known as Visual Communications. Because he was involved in doing designs for the slides, he was asked to help out in the Chinese Service.

“Back then, our attitude was, if my leader asks me to do something, I’ll just do it. We had no agenda, we served purely out of our love for God,” says Thomas.

His willingness to serve God was rewarded greatly. It was at Chinese service that he met Liang Yu Chean. She was a student from Taiwan, studying at Singapore College of Traditional Chinese Medicine. Even though they were in the same ministry, Thomas and Yu Chean’s paths did not cross for a whole year. It was only when Vivien Wu, the Visual Communications team leader for the Chinese Service, asked Thomas to teach a class on Photoshop did the stars begin to align.

As Thomas taught the class, Yu Chean started to notice how suave he was when he was serious. Thomas, on the other hand, started to notice the quiet Taiwanese girl who was gentle with those around her. Soon, they started chatting on MSN and got to know each other better.

Yu Chean saw Thomas as a responsible man who was able to care for others. Plus, he was a good cook—“much better than me!” she declares. Yu Chean, on the other hand, turned out to be exactly what Thomas wanted in a life partner. He knew that God had orchestrated their meeting because “why would someone from Taiwan come to Singapore to study TCM, when Taiwan has better schools for that? It’s a bit puzzling,” he says.

On the way home from serving one day, Thomas gathered all the courage he had and asked Yu Chean if she wanted to catch a movie. She agreed and that marked their first step towards a relationship.

Just before Yu Chean graduated in 2007, she took an internship in Nanjing, China for three months. A few days after she left, Thomas realised that he was not ready to let Yu Chean go and decided to ask her to be his girlfriend.

To Yu Chean, she was very clear that if she were to return to Taiwan after she completed her studies, she would lose her relationship with Thomas. It was a big struggle because the stakes were high—if she were to say yes, she might never return home to Taiwan again.

“Still, I made the decision to stay,” she says. It was a decision she did not regret. The couple tied the knot in 2010 and today, are parents to two children.

Before meeting Yu Chean, Thomas never thought that he would date a foreigner. “I believe God saw my willingness to serve Him, and He also saw my desire for a long-term relationship. I actually thought dating a foreigner would be challenging, but I guess God has His plans. And as long as two people are in love, everything else is secondary,” he concludes.

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